it was dads birthday yesterday, i guess you could say today since i havent gone to bed yet.
it was, easier than i thought it would be because i kept myself busy all the time, had meetings this morning and then was in town in the library for a bit, walked around until my face melted and i nearly colapsed. then i came back and hung with bill and lauryn for a bit, had dinner with marilyn, walked the dog, just kept busy.
but now its got late and i'm just in bed, now its starting to really hit me how much i miss him. like, its his 55th today. until he died i was convinced he was 48, even though i knew his date of birth i just never questioned it when he told me he was 48... he never did want to admit to being the next decade up
yeah, i'm a bit sad about dad right now, and i do miss him, i'd like to know hes proud of me though and i think he is... depression has been up and down the past few weeks and as from tonight i am cutting all contact with ireland, but as soon as the birthdays are over i know it will get easier, and i know i have the most amazing person in the world by my side to support me... even if i dont get why he does most of the time
so yep, this message goes out to dad, to say happy birthday and i love you. i'll never forget, but feck sake, its about time i moved on and grew up