Hey guys, sorry for the delay on this update, and on any future updates which just don't happen for months at a time. Unfortunately life is quite busy right now, and I just don't have as much time as I would like to sit down and write a journal to you all on dA, or do much really.

As some of you are aware from previous updates, I've been in college for the past 3 months on a system the jobcentre put me on. While I saw it as a joke at first, I'm actually quite proud of what I've achieved while in the course. I am due to finish at the end of the week, and if I work hard enough I should be able to walk away with a betac in health and social care, as well as a work skills qualification. I have one more assignment to do, and some things to finish up, but they have said that even though I officially finish on Friday I am welcome to go in and finish my work for the week after, to get myself the best I can out of the course. I plan to do this, because even though I've never done anything in health and social care before, or had any interest in it either, it can't hurt to get the qualification, and at least I will feel I've achieved something with my time.

I had my scan the other week, the first one, and am happy to announce that my little one is doing very well in there, and is keeping strong. Still giving me loads of hassle, the constant needing to pee and craving yoghurt all the time is starting to become a bit of a slog, but hey, it'll be worth it in the end. I actually don't mind the stupid cravings (so far just yoghurt of any form, and green olives) so long as I know he's healthy and safe in there. And hey, if that's what he wants to be fed then I'll let him, at least they're not stupid unhealthy cravings. I think I felt him move for the first time the other day, just a little flutter, and it put me all excited. I should start feeling it more often as the weeks progress, until I can actually feel him kicking my insides to shreds. I'm 15 and a half weeks gone now.

I'm going back to Ireland on Thursday next week, the 17th, for ten days. Its the longest I'll have been back for since I left, and also my first time going back in 6 months, so I'll admit I'm a bit nervous about it. Its been so long since I've seen any of my friends or family, so I'm looking forward to seeing them all, and having a good old catch up. But at the same time its scary, because I know a part of me just wont want to leave again, and I know that the recovery time after 10 days over there rather than just the 2 days I did before will be really hard. I'm just so glad that I'll have things to distract me once I get back, things to keep me going and focused on the future rather than the past.

I'm moving into a hostel within a few days of getting back from Ireland, which should be good. I never really intended to go into a hostel, but in the long run I think it will work out beneficial to me. While a hostel might not be the best place to live, I know of people in that place who say its not so bad, and it does put me nearly at the top of the housing list for a place of my own. Homeless, in a homeless hostel and pregnant is pretty much a necessity to get housed. It's somewhere to stay while I wait anyway, and should hopefully do me some good.

Had an interesting thing happen to me last week, an old friend who I hadn't seen or heard from since the end of 04 (over six years) got in contact via facebook. Turns out he lives just an hour from me now, in Wolverhampton. We met up today, for the first time since he left Ireland, and it was honestly one of the best things to happen to me yet this year. I thought it would be really awkward to see someone after so long, that we would be like strangers again, but it honestly felt like we'd never had that six years apart. I guess that proves real friendship really, when even after six years we can still pick up how we left off and laugh and joke the same way we always did. I'm really looking forward to hopefully going down on the 1st and spending a few more days with him, really having the chance to sit and catch up rather than just wandering around town together and trying to catch up on what is quite honestly a huge portion of our lives that were missing.
Its just nice to know another one of my old friends is close, and that I have that friendship at least which I know I can rely on.

Well I'm out until there's another update for you all, hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later but there's no guarantees on anything at the minute. I'll keep people up to date how I can though, and remember if any of you want to get in contact and find out how I'm doing, I'm always available through facebook for mail or chat times. Let me know how you're all doing

love out,

sam xx