This journal is about me, and about just some thoughts that have been going through my head lately. you dont have to read it if you dont want to, as it probably wont make much sense to most people, but its important to me that i write it down and just get it out there, and the ones that care will read it and the ones that dont, wont.
for years i've been searching for my identity, for who i really am. who is better to know that really than you people of deviantart, who have seen me go through so many user accounts and guises that i'm surprised that you still stuck by me. so much of my life has always been focused on finding who i am, what makes me interested in things, what makes me who i am. just who i am in general really, and where my place is in the world.
i searched so much, and in the end it snuck up on me without me really realising it.
i know what makes me me now, and who i am, and even though its nothing like i expected or craved to become, it is me and i quite like it. i like who i am, and i know who that is now.
i am Sam, i'm not stoner sam or any other sam, i'm just sam.
i'm irish, but more than that, i'm a republican irishwoman, and i am more proud of that than anything else in the world.
i'm loving, insanely so, love without question, and my family means the world to me.
i'm family orientated, and love mine to bits, would be lost without them
yes i'm pagan, but thats not who i am, thats just a part of it and a part i love a lot.
i'm not a punk, i'm not a metaler, i'm not a hippie either. i'm just sam, who is irish. i'm irish sam.
i've found my place in the world, its not in ireland and its not with who i thought it would be with, but you know what, i'm happier with this place than i could possibly be anywhere else. because here i am ME. I'm not other peoples expectations of what i should be, i'm not hiding anything which i'm interested in because i'm ashamed of it. i'm fully honest about who i am and for some reason people seem to like it. i think i do too.
its quite a big realisation for me, and yet something i really am proud of, because it makes me feel that i'm finally ready to move on with my life. this is my life, i'm not a cork person any more, but it'll always be in a heart and be part of me. it just doesnt need to be all i am.
sam out, until next time i get an amazing revilation