well guys, its been a hard few weeks and i'm sorry i've been so unactive with you all. hopefully that will pop up in a bit, i might try and upload a whole load of new pictures for you all tonight if i get around to it.

things have changed for me yet again since i've been here, since luke decided to end it. i was a bit of a mess for a few days, but i'm just trying to be stronger than that. i know i love him, i know that will not change no matter what happens, but i think its time to focus on other things. the reality is that this was a bad time for us to get together if we were ever to work. i was too ill when i arrived here, had too many things going on in my life and wasnt really ready to deal with things. i was too messed up i think, and it effected us way too much. i'm afraid this means i've lost his friendship too, but i'm going to keep hope that one day things will go right for us, that one day we may be able to be together again and let things work, or at least work as friends once more.

life here is starting to settle down and i'm starting to make some new friends. the portland crew are great and theres also a couple of other people from around town and outside weymouth who make me feel happy to be around and to talk to and stuff. hopefully going to get more time to be with them in the near future, to spend time around them and just like chill out and get to know more people. it will be nice to get people more around my age who i can be friends with, because i dont really have that yet. i guess we'll just see how it all goes.

in terms of work, i'm not doing much really. a few poems here and there, a few scraps of photography and not much more. i want to start working more and maybe even try my hand at writing again, but that will wait a while until i get the more important things sorted like job finding and getting my own place. i miss everyone in cork every day but its getting easier and easier now, and eventually i think the pain will completely fade. its been two months now since i left ireland and saw any of my friends, and i do miss them and think about them all the time. but one day i think it will become easy, and its not like i will never see them again as i'm going home in august for a brief visit.

~KaiHallarn111 is hopefully coming down to visit me next week which will be awesome, and theres huge parties coming up all over the place. was supposed to be going out tonight but wanted a girly night in with lauryn, then theres a festival starting tomorrow for nine days, and a huge party on sunday, the festival all week as well as jobcentre crap to deal with and another huge party next saturday! its going to be go go go go go!!!!!