first of all, i'd just like to apologise for the lack of action from me lately. that will improve in a short while, as i continue to put together all the pieces of work i've been putting into practice the last few weeks.
i've been incredibly busy for a few weeks now, it seems like life is non stop go go go go go even though i wish it wasnt. i started work on wendsday for the first time in three years and i'll admit its put me under some amount of presure. waiting on a call tomorrow to get my shifts for the next week or so, which means at least i'll have some idea where its going to be going off, and when i'll be busy. i guess i'm happy to be working again, even though i dont know if i really want the presure. i'm happy to have focus, and to know i'm doing something productive to earn money, but fuck only knows if i'll be able to stick it.
i've been doing loads of writing and editing work for the last few weeks, but it seems to have ground to a halt in the last week... hopefully my muse will come back very soon and i'll be able to work again, curn out some new shit. or maybe i'll just post some of it up here for a change instead of just sticking to my fanfiction page.
i'm 20 next week, which is a bit scary for me. i dont want to be an adult or to deal with it, to become mature. i dont know if i'm ready for it yet, but i guess we'll find out soon enough. i'm booking in for another tattoo to celebrate it, and hopefully getting a decent camera so you'll get pictures from me. i'm getting really addicted to lighting effects on things so i'd love to be able to work properly again. i think it would be good if i could get back into the photography thing, since i enjoy it so much and it really keeps me busy and happy.
next week also marks six months since i left ireland for good. i know this is a pinical point, and will really effect my future. if i can just last another week here without running home again, then i will know i've made it, know that this place is home and where i belong. the next week is going to be horrifically hard as i make that final decission, having the money on me to just go home will not help, but i think i can do it, i think i can force myself through it. yes, the next week is going to be hard and i am still homesick a lot, but i love the friends i've got here and i love my place here. i love the area, the people, and i've got a job and focus now too. i think its right for me, but the next week will really really show it.
i'm off again now, as i need to sleep, but i'll try and post more often now, and remember... i love you all more than anything.